In an amazing development — my latest book ‘Keeper of Secrets’ arrived early!
My dogs tried to eat the delivery bloke, but he managed a smile.
Strangely, (it happens every time a new book comes from the printers) I have an adverse reaction — a mild sort of depression. A good friend suggested that it might be fear — fear of failure — fear of success. It is such an emotional journey, so it does not surprise me that I feel weird.
I opened the box (with one of my recent books I waited three days before opening the box!) and examined the book, praying that after all that preparation there would be no obvious mistakes (it was perfect). I showed the book to Scotty, and she was very pleased.
From there, the day unfolded, and I did my best to hide inside the various chores that needed doing (the lawns got mowed which shows how desperate I was to avoid facing my feelings –lol) Scotty went off to help a friend with her assignment, and I did my thing.
Late in the day, I got a text suggesting I come around to our friend’s house and have pizza with the ladies. When I got there, the ladies were a glass of wine (or two) ahead of me. Normally I would say ‘no thank you’, but on this day, my muscles hurt and my head needed to relax, so I had a glass.
The pizza delivery bloke was a happy soul, and I gave him a decent tip (I reasoned that one of us should be happy). Pizza and red wine (two of the essential daily food groups) had their effect, and I started to relax.
I brought a copy of the book to give to our friend (she had read the first draft and gave valuable feedback). The book had changed from the time our friend had read the first draft. I ‘beefed up’ a couple of the minor characters and I named one of those characters after our friend. Scotty opened the book at the relevant chapter and read it to us (did Hemingway or Fitzgerald’s wives do this in their tiny apartment in Paris, back in the day?). I listened to my words and smiled at our friend’s reaction to hearing her name.
I know it sounds strange, but I liked what I heard. Up until that moment, my words had always been inside my head, and they rang with my voice. There is something special about hearing your work read out loud by someone other than yourself. The pizza and wine and the reading made me relax — the book is as good as I thought it would be.
The rest of the evening was filled with laughter and conversation.
Now it’s the next morning — my head hurts a little bit, and I am left with the memory of an excellent evening spent with good friends and the one I love. Whatever happens to this little book, I will always remember the day it arrived (early) and the celebration that followed. Tomorrow, the book goes live, and I will ultimately find out if the book finds an audience, but in the meantime, I can sit and enjoy the silence that comes with great anticipation.
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